12. Who Dah Man?

Quite often when I am in a relationship I find people I know, and people I meet asking me Whose the man of the relationship.

And In all honestly it drives me insane. I find myself stating the obvious…

Well actually we are both women, ya know, hence us being lesbians. Haven’t you noticed we are two girls. Holding hands.

If they fail to see that a quick flash of the breast is sure to clear it up right?

I know its question that possibly many same sex couples face, or a variant of. And I it is my own personal reasons why it annoys me.

What exactly do they mean when asking this question? And more so why are they asking this question? Maybe it’s because on the questioners mind, in order to make sense of a gay relationship they need to put it on terms to a straight relationship? Sure I understand that within a relationship one may be more butch than the other, and one may be more “stereotypical” than the other. But that doesn’t necessarily mean one is the man.

I have met many a straight couple where it could be percieved that the woman is the man or trouser wearer of the relationship. But I’m sure if I was to ask them who is the man I would get some quite perplexed looks shot in my direction, as it wouldn’t be socially acceptable for me to ask this.

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